John Hodgman: For those of you who are unfamiliar with the program, American Idol is an old-fashioned screaming contest for children … [and] at the end of the contest, the winning child is stoned to death, thus ensuring a prosperous coca cola harvest for the coming year. I, for one, am proud to live in a country where this is the number one television program…

Jon Stewart: I’m surprised at how seriously you’re taking this. It’s just a silly TV show.

Hodgman: Oh, is that all it is? American Idol received over 500 million votes last season. That makes it the world’s fourth-largest democracy — just after Indonesia and just ahead of Indonesian Idol.

Stewart: Is that true?

Hodgman: It might be.