Frickin’ Lasers!

Aug 14th, 2008 | By Mark | Category: War

We got ray guns folks.  Real nasty, precision-guided airborn lasers that can take out vehicles or people without anyone knowing where it came from.

The attack described would seem to have quite a distinct signature, and no other nation has similar lasers ready to deploy (as far as we know).The laser is silent and invisible, and can strike at long range in darkness, so witnesses need to be aware there was a US aircraft in the area. Without any previous cases to go on, no pathologist could definitely say that a laser was involved. The injury might resemble a lightning strike more than anything else.

First indication of the attack is when it lights the target’s clothes on fire as his body is vaporized, just like something out of Star Trek.  The six ton machine is carried on board a C-130 gunship and aimed with pinpoint accuracy has been requested for deployment against insurgents in Iraq.

And the enemy will only be sure it was us who disintegrated their comrades when and if we brag about the kill.  I’m assuming there is no “stun” setting and you won’t be able to get a concealed carry permit for the hand-held version for quite some time.

Your tax dollars at work.  Designing new and better ways of killing each other.
And yes, they’re looking at this as part of a missile defense system as well.

2 comments
Leave a comment »

  1. First indication of the attack is when it lights the target’s clothes on fire as his body is vaporized

    Yeah. That’s usually a pretty good clue that you’re in trouble.

  2. Talk about FUBAR.

Leave Comment