Obama Got Himself Some Mawble Cawlums!!

Word reaches us that Obama’s acceptance speech from Invesco Field will be delivered from a stage decorated with marble columns. Alex Koppleman is upset:

I suppose there’s an outside chance this could actually look good when it’s finished and all the trappings are in place. But right now it just seems incredibly tone-deaf. The Obama campaign should expect John McCain’s camp to attempt to use the speech against Obama, as it has so successfully turned his popularity against him before. Why hand the campaign additional ammo on a silver — well, in this case, marble — platter?

Dial it back, Koppelman — ain’t you never been to Washington DC? The joint is full of marble columns. In fact, Obama (and McCain, too) wants the job that comes with a house that has…wait a minute! That reminds me of something…

Yeah! Yeah! Ya’ GOTTA get yourself some mawble cawlums!! The Romans had ’em — and they didn’t do too bad, right? Hey, you know what? Take a good look at the White House! Notice anything classy on the porch? CAWLUMS!! So, come on down to Mike’s Marbleopolis, and get yourself some CAWLUMS!!