Additional Rahm Emanuel Facts

(This is reprinted from Nov. 2006)

Witness the awesome power…of Rahm Emanuel:

• Rahm Emanuel uses Tabasco Sauce for eye drops.
• Rahm Emanuel can get Blackjack with just one card.
• Republicans created the automobile to escape from Rahm Emanuel…Not to be outdone, Rahm Emanuel created the automobile accident.
• When Rahm Emanuel was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Rahm Emanuel.
• Rahm Emanuel can sneeze with his eyes open.
• Rahm Emanuel got a perfect score on his SAT’s, simply by writing Rahm Emanuel for every answer.
• Rahm Emanuel wears Orion’s Belt around his pinky toe and he eats with the Big Dipper.
• Rahm Emanuel eats lightning and farts thunder.
• Lightning never strikes twice in one place because Rahm Emanuel is looking for it.
• Rahm Emanuel once played rugby by himself. He went undefeated.
• On Valentine’s Day, Rahm Emanuel gives his wife the still beating heart of a Republican.

I wish I could say I wrote these. I did not. Unfortunately I cannot remember who did. If you know, don’t tell Rahm Emanuel.