Internet Spiders Conquer the Galaxy

Yes, you heard me right: with the sale of HuffPo to AOL, search engine optimized (SEO) news has now given primacy to the search engine spiders that crawl the Internet, indexing every single published page, moments after their creation. What this means is that pretty much everything that y’all are searching for on Google, et. al., now has a story on HuffPo associated with it because, I don’t know, it’s how you build traffic. Check that — it’s how you quickly build the best KIND of traffic: Free Traffic.

This is why you get headlines like this:

Christina Aguilera Totally Messes Up National Anthem

…on HuffPo’s Politics page.

Or this sort of in depth reporting…

Natalie Portman Looks Very Pregnant

…on the Entertainment page.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that, of course. But I will say this: Tina Brown’s Daily Beast (which recently took over Newsweek) has a sassier, crisper, version of this sort of thing. She’s intellectual AND gossipy without being predictable …like Arianna.

Is Michael Moore to the Democrats What Rush Limbaugh is to the Republicans?

In a word, no. In two words: hell no.

Here’s Michael Moore answering critics who say that he is the mirror image of Rush Limbaugh:

[S]ome commentators (Richard Wolffe of Newsweek, Chuck Todd of NBC News, etc.) have likened this to “what Republicans tried to do to the Democrats with Michael Moore.” Perhaps.

But there is one central difference: What I have believed in, and what I have stood for in these past eight years — an end to the war, establishing universal health care, closing Guantanamo and banning torture, making the rich pay more tax and aggressively going after the corporate chiefs on Wall Street — these are all things which the MAJORITY of Americans believe in, too. That’s why in November the majority voted for the guy I voted for. The majority of Americans rejected the ideology of Rush and embraced the same issues I have raised consistently in my movies and books.

How did this happen? Considering how, for the past eight years, the Republican machine thought they could somehow smear and damage the Democrats if they said it was “the party of Michael Moore,” it appears that the American public heard them loud and clear and decided that, ‘hey, if you say Michael Moore is connected to the Democrats, then the Democrats must be OK!’

I might also add that I don’t ever recall the “leadership” of the Democratic party kissing Michael Moore’s ass. As I recall, he got a ringside seat at the 2004 Democratic convention and that was about it. But I don’t ever recall the critical mass of the Democratic party agreeing with Michael Moore on much of anything — until they saw the electorate moving in Moore’s direction.

Think about it — which Democrats cried “Amen!” when Moore said this in his 2003 Oscar acceptance speech on the eve of Iraq war’s beginning:

We like non-fiction and we live in fictitious times.

We live in the time where we have fictitious election results that elects a fictitious President.

We — We live in a time where we have a man sending us to war for fictitious reasons.

Whether it’s the fictition of duct tape or the fiction of orange alerts, we are against this war, Mr. Bush.

Shame on you, Mr. Bush, shame on you.

And any time you’ve got the Pope and the Dixie Chicks against you, your time is up.

Thank you very much.

It was over a year before any important Democrat spoke in support of Michael Moore said that night. Mostly this was because there was no institutional or intellectual base of support in the party for what he was saying then. There was no tradition in the party, no elder statesman to whom he could point in the same way that Limbaugh’s Republicans point to Reagan today.

Oh, the Republicans tried to tie Moore around the neck of the Democrats, hoping he’d sink them like a cinder block. They succeeded, except they discovered he wasn’t a cinder block, but a helium balloon instead. The more they identified Moore’s politics with the Democrats, the higher up in the polls the Democrats went.

Eventually, the majority of Americans came around to where Moore was that night — and we have the Republican party to thank for that.

And as a direct result of that, Democrats have largely lost their fear of Michael Moore.

But that hardly means that Democrats think that they’ll lose elections or money or both by going against what Michael Moore preaches.

Simply put, the same thing cannot be said of Rush Limbaugh and his Republican party.

Obama and the Democrats going after Rush is a good thing and will not do for him what the Republican attack plan did for me — namely, the majority of Americans will never be sympathetic to him because they simply don’t agree with him.

Well, strictly speaking, they did agree with Rush way back in the early 90′s. But a lot has happened since then to demonstrate how wrong those policies were and how much damage they’ve inflicted on all of us. For Rush Limbaugh’s Republicans to think that anyone wants to go back to those policies is mistaken and will just cause them further losses at the polls in coming elections.

And THAT might be the best thing they ever did for the country.

Read This, Robert Downey

You rock:

David ANSEN, NEWSWEEK: Do any of you guys ever Google yourself?

Brad PITT: Dear God, no.

ANSEN: Never?
PITT:
Never. First of all, I don’t really know how to operate a computer.

Do you have a BlackBerry?
PITT: Oh, yeah, I have a BlackBerry.

Anne, what about you? Do you Google yourself?
Anne HATHAWAY:
No.

Frank LANGELLA: It’s not a good idea. It can be painful and it can be self-aggrandizing.

Sally HAWKINS: What do they say about don’t believe any of it?

Robert DOWNEY: Oh, I love all that s–––, personally. Sorry. I just love it. Because it’s a hoot. Some people overstate their support, like they know you. Other people are busy doing something else and just want to go on this chat site and say some despicable character assassination, which I honestly think they kind of nailed it. I do have that shortcoming. It’s really fun.

I still say that the opening 3 minutes of Ironman, with Tony Stark sipping a cocktail in the back seat of that Humvee in Afghanistan like he’s in a limo on his way to the Vanity Fair Oscar party, that’s the performance that should win him the Oscar this year. Yes, Tropic Thunder is outrageous and over the moon (“I don’t read the script, the script reads me!”) and he actually, you know, got nominated for an Oscar; but give me Tony Stark any day, hitting on the driver of that armored vehicle:

Tony Stark: I feel like you’re driving me to court-martial, this is crazy. What did I do? I feel like you’re going to pull over and snuff me. What, you’re not allowed to talk? Hey. Forrest.
Male Soldier: We can talk, sir.
Tony Stark: Oh, I see. So, it’s personal.
Female Soldier: No. You intimidate them.
Tony Stark: Good God, you’re a woman. I honestly couldn’t have called that. I mean, I’d apologize, but isn’t that what we’re going for here? I thought you were a soldier first.
Female Soldier: I’m an Airman.
Tony Stark: Well, you have excellent bone structure there. I’m kinda having a hard time not looking at you now. Is that weird?
[They all laugh]
Tony Stark: Come on! It’s okay, laugh. Hey!

“Good God, you’re a woman!” Heh.